looking out windows.

“The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows”

~Sydney J. Harris

Teacher? Of nursing? That seems nearly impossible. But yes, that is my job title. Instructing beautiful Indian minds in the field of nursing.

(taken by American med student, Derek)

The Gastrointestinal tract, pancreatic disease, gynaecology, liver cancer, and much more.

Blue and white painted walls.

(front hall of our nursing school; read more about it here: http://bmch.in/ )

Anatomy maps. Medication charts. Beautiful young minds.

In this two story building with porch wrapped around.

Tucked in the hills of NE India.

To be honest, it seems crazy to me.

But oh how HE makes beauty from ashes.

When I walked out of Vivan Duxbury Hall/FSU inTallahassee

I felt beaten and bruised and quite inadequate.

It had been a tumultuous few weeks to finish off nursing school.

There was a test that seemed to be impossible for me to conquer.

But conquer it I did. Or rather, He did.

And through that time, and a others in my past,

trials and frustration changed my mirrors into windows

There is more

During those times when things became difficult and

“impossibility” was whispered over and over in my mind.

I may have thought of myself as “humbly enduring”.

But I was actually quite self absorbed.

Mirrors were my looking glass.

Insecurities and self hatred and inevitable failure were all I thought of myself.

Oh how God used those times.

To mold and shape this *jar of clay*

I have been reflecting on those months and that self abasement I lived in.

I am so thankful my mirrors were changed to windows.

Not just in nursing school. But in other times and seasons too…

In elementary school.

(momma and i dying easter eggs..around that liberation year in kindergarten…when i first spoke in class)

Silently I sat through preK and kindergarten.

Words I would not utter inside those classrooms.

I was so anxious and nervous and painfully shy.

(I wonder, had I had the courage to look out a window?

Or was I frightened of what I would see?)

Mom and dad were told I should be put back a year.

I had one chance. To speak.

The next day in class.

Mom and dad. They set me down.

Spoke love and life to me.

My Creator.

I believe He whispered love and life to me.

And when such love and such life is whispered over me.

It counters the lies and insecurity.

And courage is birthed.

Hands are raised.

Words are spoken from shy, kindergarten lips.

Life moves on.

One window is opened.

Times of discouragement and frustration.

More often they are rooted out of refusing to take my eyes off myself.

And being frustrated with what I see.

Repetitive peccadillo.

I cannot learn or see or understand anything.

Because all I choose to see is self.

Peccadillo.

Then a window is opened, not even by my own strength.

By grace.

And the blur is wiped clear.

And I behold HIM and beautiful creation.

Loving comes.

Peace comes.

Focus shifts.

Yellowstone Geyser! http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

And I learn and perceive.

So that is how I see my students here in my little nursing class.

Brilliant minds each in their own way.

Some needing to be loved and nourished in soft, one on one ways.

Some by sight.

Practical.

Lecture.

Repetition.

All different ways.

But one new concept has come as I reflect on my past.

‘Their gaze needs to be shifted.

From mirrors onto self.’

Mirrors that see expectations.

Mirrors that see failed expectations.

Mirrors that see man’s approval.

Windows that see “being number one”.

Their gaze needs to be shifted.

To windows to the world.

Fisherman in Indonesia! http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

So we now start class with a picture of the day.

Sometimes my own. Mostly courtesy of National Geographic.

Clownfish and its anemone! http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

And maps.

And the Word.

Pictures bring a reality to beauty ,suffering, culture, medicine, healing & bigger pictures to their north east Indian minds.

(on an evening walk last week)

Maps expand their gaze from their tribe, their state,

their region, and their country to the world.

Family in boat in Congo http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

The Word hems it all in place.

It is fun.

Looking out these windows.

Funny mistakes are made.

(map from a great googled site!)

Because ‘once local’ minds confusingly label

Africa- South America.

Indonesia-Hawaii

America- Europe.

Laughter is heard when corrections are made.

But greater understanding comes.

It is humbling.

When we experience a power outage for 1 week and no running water.

So we have to work a little harder.

Sweat a little more.

But starvation and dehydration we know not.

And we see pictures of brothers and sisters in Somalia.

Tent cities where the hungry live.

Tent city in Somalia, current famine; http://www.bbc.co.uk/– our favorite site for news coverage. When we have good netword (usually when we are traveling, it is a constant go on Raj’s laptop)

Dying without resources we daily for granted take.

Not to walk in guilt do we look or do I show or do we listen…

We look & see, in grace, for a glimpse of reality.

For when our windows become fogged.

When our windows even become mirrors.

We forget.

Outside. Others.

We look, too, so we can walk in gratitude & humility.

We look, too, to utter prayers constant.

For those in Somalia and elsewhere.

 

Through this new start to our nursing school day.

Minds expands.

Nursing knowledge grows.

Cultural knowledge expands.

Even disease and the human body make more sense.

All because we looked away from mirrors. And out the windows.

We see Him. In it all. Our eyes become fixed on Him, Author & Perfector.

Let us try to look thru the windows.

(taken by natbug or megan. old castle/hotel; Mittersill, Austria; 2008)

And behold Him.

Then I think it will even transform what you see and think when mirror-looking.

Sunset outside our front door. Chase the sun. Give it a try. It’s our favorite evening activity.